please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
