Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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