a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize