It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
