they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
