covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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