worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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