I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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