i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we're making bets on your personal life
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
