Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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