Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
