Non-Jews are for practice
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
