they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
im six kinds of drunk right now
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
