i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
