Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
