evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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