I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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