my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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