I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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