You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
