We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
