I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
