Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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