Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
