New low: just hacked my moms facebook
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
