I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
