ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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