His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize