So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
