Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize