i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
