i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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