Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
