Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
