she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
