you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
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omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
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I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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