Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Quick, to the slutcave!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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