You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize