there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
