in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
organizing the empties. That sober.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
