Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
