i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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