I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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