I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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