when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize