I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize