her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
