i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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