Pappa wants mamma naked
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
