so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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