the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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