Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
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That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
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Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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