i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize