I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
whose parrot is this?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
