I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
