i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
