We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
