I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
