At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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