So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
