Dual....:-)
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
