Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
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just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
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She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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