Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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